Final Decision

Heyyyyy, so I feel like I have not posted in awhile.  :-)  Even though this blog began only as a trial run, I enjoy seeing it grow and therefore, I would like to plug in posts still.  And did I tell you that I received TWO baking books for my 20th bday?  I hope you know what that means... Haha.  :D  I've tried two recipes, one from each book, and they turned out fabulous!  So I have a grand feeling about these lil' guys...

This evening I plan on making Banana Bread from one of the books.  The book is ....

that book.  ;-)  And I'll let you know how it goes, if I remember.  I think I'm looking forward to it.

Also, I'll slip in here that it's been decided that I'll be attending North Park University this Fall- not be going to Wyoming or Texas or any other place besides NPU Chicago.  Which is neato.  :)  I know I've mentioned running away, etc., but- it's all good.  I am probably the most excited about North Park's baby dance team.  Baby dance team because it'll be about 3 years old after this upcoming season.  ;)  Auditions are in about a week and a half and I just get a thrill dancing/performing....and there is an excellent coach who is very motivating.  Oh and classes are cool too.  ;-)

 *classic move here

 *beautiful

 *Yes!

*Ballerinas are beautiful.  I want to be one.  But I don't have the discipline.  But maybe, if it works out, I would like to be a ballerina in Heaven...

Last thing- and most importantly- there are some people, and I guess this is what the Spirit of God looks like in people- who really have it going on, like with Christ.  I don't know, man, but I want what these people I have in mind have.  And I don't want to fake it.  And I don't think I'm making much sense here either.  But this is just a note that establishes an observation, a distinction between Christians who really recognize who Christ is and what He means and then those of us who don't- really know the significance and reality of Him.  -you know?

I wonder if I'm losing it-
Miss Rae :*

"I'm 20"

Today, as my sister dropped me off at work, she left me with some variation of the following words, "Start saying it out-loud, "I'm 20. I'm 20 years old...'"  She thought I would actually feel 20, and appreciate being 20, once it sunk in.  :)  Haha- I do like it!  Initially, at least.

So creating this blog was all apart of my "21 b4 21" list.  Creating/attempting to make a fantastical baking blog of my own was something on my list.  Baking blogs, good ones ;), are the bomb!  :)  And something I have learned so far, is that it requires a lot of baking and cooking and most of my blogs on this site have therefore not been on-topic.  Meh.  ;-)

God, Jesus, Holy Spirit- thanks for all agreeing to make me.  Something I've realized while talking to a really good friend yesterday on my bday, was that I'm afraid to make mistakes and this fear, probably like all fears, can be paralyzing.  So God, I need help to move when I should move.  And I bring this up now because I'm 20, another year older, and I really don't want to waste my time.  So- I don't want to do anything without the Holy Spirit with me.

 Friends and family really make differences in lives- ok, I'll make it an "I" statement- family and friends really make a difference in my life.  ;-)  And the "best" ones are those that are annoying, and still stick around.  If that doesn't make sense, that's ok, because I know what I mean.

Hush.
 Happy Birthday to all on their day!!!
20-year old, Lady Rae ;-) 

Oh and something that's worth mentioning; the Bible verse that says, "Don't pretend to love people- really love them."  Peculiar, right?  It's like the author knows me.  Okay, okay...

Distractions

http://youtu.be/nQwci9orqUk

"'Cause someday maybe
Somebody will love me like I need
And someday I won't have to prove
'Cause somebody will see
all my worth but until then
I'll do just fine on my own
With my cigarettes
And this old dirt road"

~The Wreckers "Cigarettes"

I tried smoking again.  And ahh it's so not natural.  I feel sick on my fingers, my mouth, my tongue, everything when I smoke and I do it, and look out at people and think about what they think of me and I think to myself, "This is so stupid.  Yuck, gross.  *spit*  This is so stupid!  *spit...I spit a lot*  Gross!"

I don't relate to all of the lyrics.  But yes to the chorus.  I always kind of thought that the Wrecker's music was over-dramatic, etc.  But now, maybe they were just being honest and writing songs and not caring if people thought they were being over-dramatic.

At church, Willow Creek, we had the Leadership Conference today!  And it's so incredible.  In noticing what gets me amped and not in regards for the future and well, careers, I have ruled out working with kids, I think, and have ruled in working with adults, international adults, and maybe somehow listening to speakers/pastors?!  I really enjoy listening to people give speeches and sermons?  I'm getting somewhere!  :-)
Miss Rae

Sometimes I

"Even though I hate to admit it, sometimes I smoke cigarettes.  Christian folk say I should quit it, but I just smile and say, "God Bless..."  (Miranda Lambert's song, Heart Like Mine)

I first heard this song and I loved it.  It was a season when my two favorite songs were this one and another by Sugarland, "Little Miss".  It's kind of quirky- Heart Like Mine is kind of nothing like me, however once I heard and saw the music video to Miranda Lambert's Kerosene, I liked her!  I wanted to be her, probably because she is everything I am not. 


Hey!, so what I was saying was that I love singing the song and even mentally pretending that Heart Like Mine applies to me and yeah, it's pretty silly.  However, I bought my first pack of cigarettes yesterday at a 7-Eleven.  And you know what?  I am unable to not think of the chorus, "Cancer stick, cancer stick- you're putting a cancer stick to your mouthhhh!  Ah, Kyla!  You're going to get lip cancer, tongue cancer, and then finger cancer!" out of my mind, as I take one.  And I fail at lighting the stick!  Today, it was me & God, sitting down on a bike path and to raise the drama, I told myself I'm smoking!  But it didn't light.  Humility!  Hello?  Ha!

Putting aside the thoughts that consume my  mind for a moment, before the end of this summer, I would like to make homemade wine, homemade bread, and make my dad "Beef Stroganoff (sp)" again.

Huh.  And about the Homemade Wine idea- this website intimidates me.  I kind of thought I'd buy grapes, mash them up, let them ferment, and add sugar.  Is this now how it goes?  http://www.greathomemadewine.ca/hw/Equipment.html  What's this air cap I need?

I think I'll follow this nice-looking woman on the bread: http://ilovemy5kids.blogspot.com/2011/07/easy-homemade-bread-without-bread.html.

Mosquitoes!!!
Miss Rae