I've enjoyed this morning. Three people are yet sleeping and a sister of mine is off at school/clinical. Therefore I have the house to myself in a way-well, the dogs are up, too. ;-)
This morning, while frying pancakes, I practiced saying out-loud the Gospel. It has been a frustrating experience, beginning my freshman year of college, to see other people so dependent on God/Jesus and therefore, so independent from human pleasures. I say this is frustrating because the sincerity and drive and passion and intimacy with Jesus that these some people portray is not, exactly, what I feel and understand about God. I don't say this to complain about passionate, lovely Jesus Christ followers. I write this to explain how I got to practicing saying the Gospel because I want to be driven for Jesus Christ. After all, there is nothing as amazing, true, genuine, and absolutely lovely to live for, but than a loving Savior. Some might say it is love that one lives for, life is all about. And to that, have you heard that, God, is love? So then we agree, the best thing to live for is love, also known as, God.
1 John 4:8 -- English Standard Version (ESV)
"Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."
The words of a preacher have been bouncing around my mind since 2012, as well. He said, "Preach the Gospel to yourself." A young woman who was mentoring me this Fall also told me to do this. I haven't really, but I think I might progress into it.
See this is what happens when I write. I write and write and write and lose FOCUS as to what I wanted to write about. All of these words lead up to me, tripping over thoughts and words in order to give an accurate story of the Gospel. I thought it would be real quick-it's about Jesus! His sacrifice, His crucifixion, His atonement for humankind and how through Jesus, humankind may be looked up as Holy, Righteous, Okay, so then God the Father can look at us, be with us. Because God is so Right and SO PERFECT, humankind, being so not perfect, needed a perfect sacrifice--Jesus--in order to not be condemned to Hell!
But then, I thought I should probably start at the beginning with Adam and Eve and how sin got in the world to explain how man is evil and needs a Savior. And then by saying this all out-loud, it just felt funky to me. Like I wasn't saying the Gospel right and how perhaps, I don't understand it. But then, that can't be it because I have attended a wonderful church since birth and see that I need a Savior and that there is something BIGGER than this world. Hope out...there. I start to thinking, what's wrong with me? Why does talking about Jesus and how wonderful He is sound so...odd? But, we'll see where this goes. Today is Mardi Gras or Fat Tuesday. Tomorrow starts Lent--that 40-day "giving-up-of-something" that is a Catholic practice. Well, I'm going to say the Gospel out-loud everyday for 40 days. Okay? I think something may be produced by the time Easter comes around.
So that's is what's up with Lent. And another thing that's what's up is AMTC. I was browsing the organization's "Success Stories" this morning and reading some other things and was all wondering, am I totally wasting my money on being with AMTC? Do I really want this? Could I really do this? Could I be a, Success Story? Do I want to be? I suppose my thoughts came down to 1) Could I be successful in the Entertainment industry? 2) Do I want to be?
If not, I could spend this money on a good amount of other stuff.
Okay, ONE OTHER NOTE is that this past weekend I (Thank You, God!) visited a wonderful friend of mine who is living near Illinois State University (neat campus). This friend of mine is so cool... :-) I am so blessed to have her in my life. During this visit, I was able to meet her boyfriend who I have heard about for months, and it was so good to finally meet him! He was a real nice, polite gentleman. I pray and lift up their future. Every relationship needs Godly help. Relationships seem so difficult. And is it safe to say that they are especially difficult in these days?!
Another happening that occurred during my visit, was witnessing a four-hr long play, called The Passion Plays. This, I believe, was put-on by ISU students. I saw the show with my dear friend and despite the slight misery of it being so long and so I had to sit for hrs. at a time, it was a really good show! I saw it Sunday afternoon and was thinking about it on my ride home Sunday and also at work yesterday (Monday) and I don't want to stop thinking about it because I haven't come to any resolutions yet. I don't know if the needed changes and resolutions due to this show and incredible story, have occurred in my psyche yet. And there's a lot that went on in that show. So-nice job, ISU students. :-)
My dogs are developing a hatred for me now. One, Tripper, is staring me down now as I type on this laptop. He has jumped on me, cried, brought toys to me, pawed at me for quite some time now this morning in order for me to give him all of my attention. Shadow has been watching me, too. I should give them some attention.
Let us all pray for understanding in God. :-) What happens after life is too scary to not be on track--you know?
Love...
Ty ;-)
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