Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Job: pronounced JO-BE (?)

Good morning!
This morning I asked a sister of mine what was one of her favorite books of the Bible.  She replied, "Job."  This book reminds me of Odyssey Tapes- these cassette tapes I remember listening to as a child that had stories from the Bible and their own cast of characters like Eugene and Mr. Whittaker and Connie...  Anyways, there was a story they did on Job.  :)  And on how to pronounce the book correctly.

I came across chapter 9, "Job Has More Questions."  It was revealed to me that Job didn't question the existence of God when he was in pain.  He knew there was a God, He knew that He was Almighty, a Giver and a Taker.  It wasn't a question of "If there was a kind and loving God, why would He let this happen?"  Really, I find this fascinating.  That has been one of my questions when I feel upset, sorry for myself, or sorry for the world...Is there a God?  Why would He let this happen?  Why didn't He do life this way?  But no, even when Job doesn't feel taken care of, there's no question of atheism- God exists!  He just isn't doing what Job thinks is fair or right.  I thought this was and is, fascinating.  Doesn't it say somewhere in the Bible that all people know there is a God?  That God makes himself known to everyone, even if he or she has not heard of Jesus or what not?  I'm googling it... (blue letter Bible?  huh.)

I think what I was thinking of is Romans 1:19-20
"For the truth about God is known to them instinctively.  God has put this knowledge in their hearts.  From the time the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky and all that God made.  They can clearly see his invisible qualities-- his eternal power and divine nature.  So they have no excuse whatsoever for not knowing God."

"Question with boldness even the existence of a god; because if there be one he must approve of the homage of reason more than that of blindfolded fear."
-Thomas Jefferson, letter to Peter Carr, August 10, 1787

And it continues from there!  Wow!  What does this mean for people who deny there is a God?  Me!, for instance.  I went to Africa with a group from my church in the High School Ministry, my junior year of High School.  I was pettily upset, but it was all I could feel at the time.  I was uncomfortable- uncomfortable with the people I was with, that I was only there for a short time- more to have a cool experience and "bless" others, but I was also uncomfortable because I was ready to go home when it came time to do so!  I was coming from America, where everyone wants to go and which is a great place, to help out for a little while, but I was still given food and water and housing, and then left soon after to go back to my comfortable home in America!  Only 10 days later.  I talked with a woman who helped lead the trip with how I was feeling and she brought up, Thomas- a follower of Jesus who is known as "the doubter".   Unfortunately, I could and still can, identify with this man.  Doubt.  Doubting a Good plan God made for mankind, doubting the love and care God has for mankind, doubting the purpose of life.

Anyways, I didn't mean to go so far into this.  I wanted to share something I thought was really cool- how the question of the existence of God did not hinder Job during his trials.  That's all for now.  :)  Thanks.

Okay!  Back to baking intentions:
Firecracker Whoopie Pies
Chocolate Buttercream Frosting  (for upcoming cupcake practice- remember I must consistently practice cupcakes!)

Ttyl.  Sharing bird whistles and warm sun,
Miss Rae

Monday, June 27, 2011

Is it God-honoring to HATE mosquitoes?

Ugh...can I say this?  I hate mosquitoes.  Fine!  Suck my blood, but you have to make me agonize in itchiness?  NOT KIND!  I also am not content at the thought of attending college in the fall.  Exactly.  Someone may or may not have the right to yell at me because 1. it's still June.  why are you complaining about the Fall?  2.  college is a gift.  And that someone would be correct...except if I want to get out of college, I have to find another pursuit.  :)  Here are some of my dreams/options for the future:

1.  live and serve at an orphange!
2.  talk to friend who mentioned she stayed someone in Europe where they spoke French and it was good...
3.  apply to a YWAM thing...hmm...
4.  WOOF!, preferably in Ireland (work for food/shelter)
5. go to a different kind of school:  Baking/Cooking school, Massage Therapy school,  Flight Attendant school (um, not feeling it?), or a Bible school?  (my friend went to a year Bible school in Wyoming!...the name forgets me ;) )
6.  Work for ACMNP!  (This has intrigued me since I have heard of it, BUT would they hire me beyond the summer?)
7.  Go to school?!

At some point I would like to share/expand my "21 b4 21" list.  But not now.  :)
Kisses :*,
Miss Rae


I now understand why I haven't been "big" into creating cupcakes before: they are so messy!  Next time, and there will be next times, I need to just enter into the kitchen with a mentality of becoming "in sync" with the dough...with the recipe...because it's going to get all over anyways.

So, like I mentioned, I followed the recipe for Banana Cupcakes from that book.  I, um, accidentally put in a cup of buttermilk instead of 1/3 C...therefore I added 2/3 C more flour and 1/2 teaspoon more vanilla than what the recipe requested.  Did this help?  I don't know...

I am finishing this blog post several days later than the above typage.  Yes.  The Banana Cupcakes did turn out very good.  I mean, kind of plain, but "nice".  Yeah, about the frosting...didn't get to that.  And about giving these cupcakes to those who were baptized at my work...didn't get to that either.  No, instead, my family and I have been eating them.  On their own.  So one could either take this as lazy, selfish, inconsiderate.  Or one could take this as: banana cupcakes can be successful and perhaps those who got baptized may just have a delicious surprise (Jo Dee Messina has a song "Delicious Surprise", right?) in their future- much less delicious than salvation, however.  I'm choosing the latter.  We can talk more about food later.  Right now, I got home from work, and an hour later, I'm full of food.

I tagged along with one of my sisters to a church in Chicago last night.  The church is called, Missio Dei.  I find it to be a wonderful church.  Last night the Pastor spoke from the Biblical book of, Joshua.  He taught on how to be the Church and to have character like Joshua.  As I reflect on my notes of the service, I notice that the last point on how to be like the church is to put away foreign gods.  This specifically sticks out to me because a sister of mine checked out books on Wicca and I flipped through it, read some things, and I can see the appeal for it.  But the attraction to worshiping nature or the goddess we can each be, is a foreign god.

Moreover, I read Joshua 3:5.  Joshua is telling the Israelites to purify themselves for the following day the Lord is going to perform "great wonders" for them!  The Holy Spirit, I would like to say, highlighted this verse to me.  I am practicing a faith that trust that God is going to perform  (and He has performed) great wonders for me!  Therefore, I must be pure!  Out of respect for this G*D who was and is and is yet to come- He will...He does provide for me!!  So what ways can I be pure?
My eyes.  ears.  my MOUTH (it makes sense why cursing feels good.  sinning feels good.) touch (not in anger or in lust or other).

These are just some of my thoughts.  I'm going to go- I look forward to another time. 
Kisses :*,
Miss Rae

Friday, June 24, 2011


I had a dream last night AND I slept in pretty late for me- until 8!  I felt good, though the dream was not disturbing, but...curious. 

Among other things that happened, I witnessed two young boys that were bullying another boy.  The bullies, if my memory withstands, resembled a cross between humans, elves, and those boys that turned into demons in the movie, The Passion- the ones that antagonized Peter?  So I grabbed these boys and I wasn't gentle.  I don't remember what I grabbed them by- I think their arms.  I walked with them to some younger woman who I knew was in charge.  On the way to find her, I shouted for someone to help me hold on to these young boys (like 9-11 yrs old) so they wouldn't struggle away.  Everyone refused.  And then I finally reached the woman and she witnessed me biting on one of the boy's hands because he bit mine.  (Real mature, right?)  And she told me that I can't do that just because they do that...and so I apologized.  The woman walked away (not helpful) and I was left standing with the two boys alone again.  I apologized to them for if I handled the situation wrongly and then suddenly they were attached to this white booth that was by us.  A man that looked like he was one of "their kind", but 20 or 30 yrs. old slipped in the middle of the booth and...I lose it here.  I think he started melting or untying them- something unnatural and slightly disturbing.  I don't know.  I woke up.  Curious, huh?  Do I want to be a voice for young children? 

Moving forward, I'm going to commence my pre-Wedding baking tests today.  My sister's fiance had bought me a cupcake recipe book for this past Christmas, ""Hello, Cupcake!"  Convenient right?  And intimidating.  But ya gotta start somewhere!  ;)

So, I'm going to follow this book's recipe for Banana Cupcakes.  Oooo, should I do banana cupcakes with peanut butter frosting?  No- I think I'm just going to make (not "just", this is just as good) the "Almost-Homemade Vanilla Buttercream" frosting.  And they will be dedicated to my co-workers tomorrow for Baptism weekend!!!  WOO HOO!!!  :)  CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL WHO ARE GETTING BAPTIZED THIS WEEKEND AT WILLOW CREEK IN THE LAKE!!!!  YAHOOOOOO!!!!  :D <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

So, we have a plan.  I need to go now though and go to a book study.  (Hahaha, that is endearing, hearing myself participate in a book study.)  The book is, "Girl Perfect," by Jennifer Strickland.  Looking forward to it- got to go.  I intend a cupcake update for you soon!

Kisses :*,
Miss Rae

Thursday, June 23, 2011

"Always" Kristian Stanfill

"Die to Self"  Say what?  What does that even mean?  I've heard this a number of times and while I think I do know what it means, I don't know how I do it.  As a follow of Jesus Christ, I am to give up my own wants, in order to focus on and serve others.  I heard on Moody Radio (90.1fm AND I still find "Moody" to be a funny name for a Bible school/any school that isn't related to Harry Potter and Hogwart's teaching staff), that (ok, this is totally parathizing...para-paraphrasing!) to think of something we want the most, think of that and then choose to put it aside.  Zut, I need to find the actual teaching message or something because I don't want to lead anyone astray now.  However-

Side comment: You know what stinks/is great?!!?  God is NOT in a hurry- He's not!  And you know, this aspect conflicts with God and my relationship.  I need to get over myself.  I keep tripping....

I thought of something that I've been attracted to for as LONGG as I can remember.  Beauty.  I can go on and on about this, but in order to get to my point, I'm just saying as me, I desire to be beautiful (perhaps the book, Captivating, can back me up here) and I thought of that.  And how it feels refreshing to not think about that and to be focused on more.  -> HEY!  This is the sermon spoken for Mother's Day 2011.  It's a really interesting and uplifting message spoken by John Ortberg at Willow Creek Community Church (South Barrington campus).  I'm listening to it as I bake Triple Chocolate Cookies
from the baking blog, "For the Love of Cooking."

Updates on baking coming up!
Kisses :*,
Miss Rae

Baking Updates

Have I ever told you non-oatmeal cookies are consistently unsuccessful for me?  Did I also tell you that my mother has suggested she wants her nose pierced with me?  That doesn't relate to baking though.

A couple of days ago, I attempted to produce Triple Chocolate Cookies in hopes to please my father's dedicated appreciation for choc-o-late.  Fail.  Fail fail fail.  About two weeks before this incident I tried to bake normal, supposedly simple just, chocolate chip cookies- NO!  Ha ha, I thought this young gentlemen I was watching would like some of these traditional delights, but too bad his sitter made a sweet, flat, crispy cookie-wanna-be.  It's interesting because I'm quite close to having mastered chocolate chip oatmeal cookies.  I've been following my grandmother's recipe for those kinds of cookies for years (haha, I'm 19 yrs. old, what a large amount of years I have ;) ).  So what's up with this huge milestone of producing a successful batch of non-oatmeal cookies?! God is gently exposing the humor of my baking- the "issues" and successes.  :)

So my Triple Chocolate Cookies came out of the oven flat.  My delightful sister lovingly suggested we scrap them from the cookie sheets and re-mold them!  We were going to add flour if need be because that was one of the issues- the dough was "soupy".  However, we decided to not add more flour because the cookies that were half-baked seemed "full" enough to hold their own larger shape with the rest of the uncooked dough.  This is probably not interesting in the least, but I'm attempting to learn here.  So we made double-baked Triple Chocolate Cookies...which I still don't encourage because while the cookies came out not flat, they were harder than cookies should be...*sigh* I'll try a non-oatmeal recipe soon...

I did produce delightful chocolate chip oatmeal cookies after the above experience (I needed an ego-booster ;) ), as well as white-chocolate chunk brownies.  The oatmeal recipe is my grandmother's and the brownie recipe I used was,  I used SunSpire's semi sweet chocolate bar which really rocks.  I know the ghirardelli brand makes some rockin' chocolate, too, but Fair Trade is really important, you know?!

I made those brownies (yay!  success! thank you, Jesus) specifically for my sister's recent ENGAGEMENT!!!  That's correct, my sister's boyfriend of 3 years proposed on a beach in Florida just this past weekend.  Thus, when our family came together to welcome them home and have dinner together, they had brownies made for them- yay :)  I pray for blessings on their marriage, definitely.  Her now fiance is an answer to painful cries from other relational hurts and I'm thankful for their relationship and pray that divorce is never an option and they share a WONDERFUL life.  I also think it would be great if they did pre-marital counseling- that gig sounds like a lot of fun, to me, actually.  But besides being fun, I know it helps!  Praise Jesus!

Oh, and on the wedding note, the engaged couple suggested that perhaps, I could make the wedding desserts!!!  Say what?!  When my sister said that I was thinking, "What?  Are you crazy?  You want me to be in charge of perhaps the most memorable baking desserts of your life?!"   But on the outside, and also the emotion I am pursuing, is COOL!!!  LET ME PRACTICE!!!  hahaha- yes, let me practice.  Therefore, I should be posting and reviewing cupcake recipes until they are enthusiastically, emphatically, and particularly "perfect".  Conclusion: there should be a lot of pre-wedding (I have about a year ;) ) baking going on here.  =D

This is probably enough writing for one blog.  If anyone read this far- thanks, cool.  :)  For my writing, I'll make a new blog.
Kisses :*,
Miss Rae

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Title Me

 Maybe I'm wrong- maybe the health of our dogs via food (but they eat so much crud on walks anyways...) is a big deal.  Especially Labradors cuz they have hip problems or something.  Lesson I could take from this:  discuss importance of health, food, exercise, artificial pills, etc. before exchanging vows.
I also want to document right now my desire to live a different way of life I was raised in.  I'm not saying this life I was raised in is not good- it's too good- too taken care of and provided for on our own terms and for me, I want to live for, talk about, and pray to God everyday!  I went on a bike ride today (and had a delicious banana JP+ shake afterwards- yumm) and I was thinking how when I consider activities I could do- maybe should do- work, save money, spend money, work, gain experience, whatever- I think of how POINTLESS they are, to me, I feel.  I don't want to go back to college this Fall, I don't want to be doing what I'm doing now (but what do I want to do?)- I'm sorry!  I sound so discontent- even ungrateful!  That's what a wise woman told me recently.  I asked her for advice specifically from a woman to a woman and she said be content.  Oi.  Okay, I should pray and ask for contentment.

I need to get ready for work soon.  Hey I found out Rebecca St. James is married!  I looked it up this morning and she's the singer for the beautiful song, "Wait For Me."  And after waiting she looked so gorgeous in her wedding gown!!! :)
As I am in this time of singleness, forever or not, I want to think of my fellow single brothers and sisters and how I ask God to deliver them out of their singleness!  :)  Cuz they may be feeling what I am feeling, or more or else.  I must get ready for work.  Praise God!

Kisses :*,
Miss Rae

Friday, June 17, 2011


Dude.  I really need to do another recipe blog if I'm going to be a cook/baker!  Yeah!!
Nevertheless, I have other things to type about.  One being, as a nail picker/biter, some of my nails don't look too shabby, which makes me wonder if I want to work uber hard at growing them out- and then I just bit my nail.  Long nails are over-rated, for me anyway.

My cousin is engaged.  My only boy cousin on my mother's side.  Awww :)  He is engaged to the young woman who he has dated for- 6 years?  She's a real sweetheart and I think she is a lovely contribution to the family.  My sister will be engaged soon.  I heard after this weekend.  But it's ok to put that here because this blog isn't checked by her...or by many others ;)  but shhh....haha!  I do look forward to the reality of her and her beau being engaged, though.  I look forward to him and her putting a ring on it and I would have a brother-in-law!!!  :D

I deleted my facebook account for like, the 5th time.  I do not want my facebook, but I log on so I can watch people (bah!  watch said boy.)  And I go on facebook for attention, too.  See?  It's not a tool for God, it's not helpful, it's not a good thing, thus I should not have one.  (More long nail has been picked.)

[AHEM.  Update from about a week after this post:  I re-activated my facebook account... ]

Before I forget, there are 2 songs I would like to share with you.  Below are the links of them on YouTube.  The songs are "Wait For Me" by Rebecca St. James and "Everything" by Tim Hughes.
To be honest, I've been feeling negative and strained.  To be honest, I'm making this boy a big deal.  And to be honest, I don't know what to do- I mean, honestly.  I do feel that it is pushing and pulling on my honesty, love, and service for Jesus Christ.  I wrote the word, love.  I suppose that's another blog, another topic.  But I desire to be careful with that word.  I ask God, that if this boy plus I would serve You, bring You glory, then he would find me and it would be good.  If not, I pray that this strain and discomfort would only make me stronger in my faith.  Good is desired to come out of everything.  Lord God, I give you my hurt, my hopes, my life.  And I will move on with my discomfort, but not necessarily forget it because it's real.  And as Jennifer Strickland writes, "Fake is ugly.  Real is beautiful."

I want to make a "Grateful" list because I have felt negative lately.
I'm Grateful for many things:
  • this laptop and my opportunity to search and learn about and experience many roads because of it
  • for music, for fellow Christians making and singing music and sharing it
  • for my job- though I complain about it, it is an enormous blessing- I need to appreciate it more!
  • my parents!
  • my sisters!
  • their safety and happiness!
  • shelter and food, warmth and cool air
  • Christ's forgiveness, grace, and LOVE (with God, love can/should be used openly!)
  • Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,...

Kisses :*,
Miss Rae

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


I'm thankful to say I went (as I previously stated) to Life Action Camp ( with a friend and her family.  It's a WONDERFUL camp.  I am very blessed to have been able to go.  The speaker, Tom Harmon (, was encouraging, funny, motivating, and all that makes a good speaker.  :)  I feel tonight something he emphasized during that week.

Consistency.  OH COME ON!  I STINK!  I STINK I STINK I STINK!!!!  Confession:  there came a time when I liked this boy.  kind of a lot.  well, as much as I know of- which isn't a whole lot.  mostly lust, if we're just being straight-up.  still, you know, this lust emotion is strongg.  and not always pretty.  how this pertains to be consistent is very simple.  I am not consistent in my worship.

Lord, whatever happens, YOU are to be praised.  Whatever happens, may I praise You.  Regardless of said boy.  I worshiped God through song tonight.  I, along with perhaps a hundred (I'm not quite accurate with numbers) other "young folk" sang songs of praise, of confession, of dying-to-self, of love to God.  And I thought I really meant it- I want to say I still really meant it.  What if I don't?

Because I came home tonight to consider boy again and I internally huffed and puffed that boy was not interested in me and how this isn't fair or more realistically, how I wasn't currently having any fun!  As childish, rude, and awful as I sound, I'm guaranteed to be worse.  And the very One who I pushed away and spit on in a moment's notice is the One I say and try to live my life for.  And this is also the point where I can get very discouraged and say that following Christ or "being a Christian" (why did I put that in quotes?  it unfortunately sounds "little" to me- not cool) is wayyyy too hard and how can I get it right....

No!  Lord, if You'll take me back, I want to come back.    Help, God.  Boy and lust are not good for me AT ALL.

Kisses :*,
Miss Rae
I apologize; a recipe blog will have to wait as I do not have the energy to invest in one this week.  This week is work.  And I'm out of shape and it makes me tired.  :/

For some reason, I don't feel like God hears me when I pray inside my head...or it doesn't count if I just read the Bible quietly.  However if I were to hear someone else say that, I would willingly tell them that that is not true!  God hears you always.  Nevertheless, I am typing my thoughts and prayers out before work today...                            
           Isaiah 8:11-13, "The Lord has said to me in the strongest terms: "Do not think like everyone else does.  Do not be afraid that some plealn conceived behind closed doors will be the end of you.  Do not fear anything except the Lord Almighty.  He alone is the Holy One.  If you fear him, you need fear nothing else."

I read this yesterday and after reading it over a couple of times, I realized that I didn't believe it.  That's why I feel so anxious, so lost in life's shuffle.  "God, You see me, right?  Remember this promise that's written in Isaiah?  Yeah, so it's not written specifically to me, but may I take it and apply it to me?"  That's what I ask God.  God, that's what I'm asking you.

Lord, You are more incredible than I can imagine and I like that sentence a lot.  Lord, You are more incredulous, more shocking and amazing and awesome than I can think of- this may be the wisest thing I have ever proclaimed.  :)  You are SO right, so different and purely JUST, yet I have my own agenda.  My heart yearns for reasons You know and I want jump up and down and feel you pinky-promise that Yes, Ky, the desires of your heart are coming soon.  But even if You were to say that to me, God, Your "soon" and my "soon" are quite different.  Very different.

The BEST thing that I can think of to pray now then is that God, would You PLEASE change my heart to match YOUR desires?  Cuz then we'd be on the same page and I'd really be on Your team, and most of the time I ask for things I don't really want.  Lord, Precious & Beautiful God, please change my heart to match Yours.  May I ache for what you ache for and want what You want. am I changed?...

Yeesh!  I'm so impatient!

Memorized Verses or Verses in Memorization Process:
1 Timothy 4:7-9
Do not waste time arguing over godless ideas and old wives' tales.  Spend your time and energy on training yourself for spiritual fitness.  Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important for it promises a reward in both this life and the next.  This is true and everyone should accept it.

Isaiah 40:30 (awesome chapter!)
Even youth grow tired and weary, but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength!  (Remember the Titans version...*)

Psalm 139- Got to go to work!  xoxox
Kisses :*,
Miss Rae

Monday, June 13, 2011

Girls Gone Bad

I was thinking today at work (I think a lot) about what's so attractive about girls being bad.  I get the impression guys are turned-on (yes, I used that expression, but that's exactly what I meant) by girls who don't smile, look them cold into the eyes, and dance/act dominating.  The song, "Good Girls Gone Bad" sprang into my head.  Good example.  Then I think of "Southern Bells" in pretty, feminine dresses where the man is attracted to her delicacy and sweetness.  I've just heard of that though- I see and hear more of the attractiveness of the hott gal.  I write this because I'm upset.  Big surprise there.  I'm upset because- I don't want this and I don't think a lot of young women actually do want this either!  However, I've accepted it and desired to be it because I thought that this was the way girls get guy's attention.  
Ugh!  But then I remember Proverbs talking about women and their seduction (I almost wrote "seducement") and I think, "No!  The message of a dominating, hott gal is of the world.  I am so not of the world.  At least when I think before I act and short-term think- no, I desire to so not be of this world.  Especially regarding the world of modern-hott women.  I feel as if I can't write the word, hott, enough...hott hott hott.  That's the best of women.  Yes!  Women totally are that and that's a great, wonderful thing.  But again when I think about hottness and then relationships- please, give me someone I can laugh with.  That I can trip in front of and tell them I have to go pee or....
Good Girls Gone Bad.  Oh!  Another thing.  At this camp I was recently at (Life Action Camp- see previous blog entry for link), the speaker was married and they were in their sixties.  From what I could tell they were a...purely lovely couple.  Purely as Earthly creatures can get.  From the sounds of it they have fought some tough battles (heck, they raised kids!) but I so appreciate that the husband speaks so positively and appreciatively and lovingly towards his wife.  Conclusion:  I would rather have that old, sweet love that the attention that would attract me in dance clubs or other.  And I am choosing to be an optimist:  I'll either experience that kind of love or I'll eventually see that life is short and I'll just trek on to Heavenly Paradise eventually.
Cast all your cares, concerns, anxieties, worries, pains & problems upon Jesus because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7  A Pastor I admire posted this verse today.  God...what will you do with my anxieties?  Won't You talk with me- like straight-up?  ;)
I've been into the band BarlowGirl lately (  I really liked this song when I heard it.  Heavenly Daddy, I would love to feel your arms hug me.  I think the young lady in the video is beautiful, btw.  I'm wiggling on my decision to go get my nose pierced like hers, but my earthly daddy doesn't like them.  Anyways, maybe this song will help someone else, too.  :)
"Povitica" = delicious.  I don't know if I will make that soon though.  However, what about Homemade Granola Bars!  (haha, I can feel enthusiasm lacking)  Nevertheless, I think this will be my next baking action!  Whew!  Looking forward to it!

Other indirect and passive-aggressive declarations:  I want to quit my job.  I want to experience an adventurous passion and life.  I want this boy to call me.  I feel God and do things right.
I think everyone needs some kisses.  Kisses :*,
Miss Rae

Sunday, June 12, 2011


Ahem: twitterpated apparently is a word, one that I feel ridiculous saying, I am encountering it.  I asked a friend today at work if she knew what I was talking about when I asked, "Do you ever wonder if you really like someone?  Or if you like someone just because you want to like someone really badly?"
Perfect, clear example:  I look for some young romeo to crush on.  I've been attracted to the opposite sex since I was like- a newborn.  I like men.  I like the way they look, the way they feel, the way they smell, the way they sound,...  Men are just- a fantastic creation of God.  And I've never dated one.

I have had this "vision."  I thought that high school would go a little differently if you asked me...I thought I would date football players while I was a cute lil cheerleader (the closest I got to that vision was me being on the poms team my freshman year).  I laughed in my vision and if it were "perfect" it would be pretty darn close to Carrie Underwood's music video "Just a Dream" or even better, "American Girl."  I'm getting side-tracked to my case.  My vision of my high school life also included pints of ice cream which I would bring with spoons to my sister's room or something and I would cry, but laugh about the end of a relationship- you know, the typical ice-cream indulging-laughing-with-your-bestfriend-after-a-breakup scenario!  I though that this life would have been perfect even if it did include breakups.  But I'm a fun gal who likes boys- wouldn't some find me cute enough to pursue?

I didn't really mean to go here in this entry.  I don't know if I intended to go here in any entry.  But I don't think and I don't want to think that this vision/fantasy of mine is wrong or embarrassing.  For me, everything feels better when I type it out and I want to be a woman who's honest and here's a sliver of what's on my heart :)

Really what I wanted to document was how I am feeling "twitterpated" whether by choice or not.  I don't know.   I've wondered this before, "Do I really like him?  Or do I just think I like him or want to like him because I enjoy having this crush?"  I don't know.  Currently the apple of my eye I think I really do like...not that I talk to him or anything.  Ha!  God, Daddy...your daughter likes the men you created.  Yes, Daddy, also called, Majesty, and Holy God.  Isaiah 55:8- Your ways are not like my ways & your thoughts are not like mine.  I'm sorry, Daddy- this "man longing" consistently comes back after I hear your promises.  But not I, but You- will you convince me again and again that You're the best thing ever?  You're all I need?  Won't you please, God?

I told my ma I would get off when my computer dies.  I have like 3 minutes.  I wanted to pick my next recipe!  Ahh!  Pressure!  I'm thinking something with fruit and maybe something I should practice for my sister's bake sale and ahh!!!  okay I have to go.  A conclusion must come at another blog entry.  ;)

Kisses :*,
Miss Rae
...Isaiah 55:8...

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Spiritual Fitness

I'm back from a deliriously lovely week with my super duper friend's family.  My friend's family welcomed me to attend with them, Life Action Camp, or family camp as my friend stated (  Though slightly, maybe more than slightly semi-disappointed to be back home, I look forward to typing out my experiences there AS WELL as CONQUER some super duper (sorry- "She's the Man" reference) delicious recipes in the future of this blog.
On the contrary to engaging further at this current moment, I've gotten home, eaten, and my beautiful yet disobedient pups need to be walked.  God Bless (May my Dad bless you...)
Kisses :*,
Miss Rae

Monday, June 6, 2011

"Good Morning, Beautiful" (Joe Nichols)

Good Morning!  So I don't have all that much time, but I know I could type a lot.  So I'll start with why I wanted to blog in the first place: typing helps me digest things.  I mean digest thoughts, but I did just eat breakfast so this is good before I take my sweet dogs out.  (Again, I'm liking them a lot. :] )

I've read parts of the Bible for awhile.  "Awhile" meaning I've been reading it on my own really  since my friend encouraged me to do so my first year of college and then before that, I grew up going to church and hearing verses, etc.  My point is that I've heard some of the suggestions and wise sayings the Bible has- and yes I've thought they should be applied...but I've noticed something, like concrete.

The book of Proverbs talks a lot about a nagging wife and how awful it is.  It says in Proverbs 5:3-4 (the whole chapter is pretty straight-forward and interesting, I find), "The lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil.  But the result is as bitter as poison, sharp as a double-edged sword."

Yeah, okay, so essentially, "Liking really hot girls is bad for guys (and vice versa) because all you think about is them because they're so hot.  Their touch, their smile- the attention they give you is bad.  Liking girls (and hot guys) is just bad- okay, Proverbs, got it."  That's how all the verses in the Bible about wrong women might come across to someone.  But guys...I've seen it in real life, but not just to stay away from really good-looking people.  ;)  And therefore, lately, I'm thinking maybe the Bible really should be taken seriously/literally...

Married people.  I'm witnessing a marriage that didn't start out so well.  Attracted by each other's good looks and excitement outside of the two individuals' other marriages, they "fell" for one another.  Now married with a family- it hasn't been easy.  I share this because it's recently been revealed to me that the difficult present situation and marriage is a result of the past choices; just like the advice in the Bible said!

I don't know if this creates as much thought for you as it does for me, but now that I see some of the advice and warnings in Proverbs actually result, I know am intrigued, " the Bible is like, for real life?"  I wrote it funny, but that's pretty accurate what my thoughts are like.  ;)

So I didn't read much, but this morning I read in Isaiah (dreamy sigh for the book of Isaiah) 8:19 (perhaps the verse previous to this should be looked into...), "So why are you trying to find out the future by consulting mediums and psychics?  (Ah!  Though psychics seem appealing...)  Do not listen to their whisperings and mutterings.  (And this is exactly what I think speaking to sculptures would be like, "I think it said something!  Did you hear that...the sculpture either said he wants a root beer float...or he wants us to check the back of his clay throat...") Can the living find out the future from the dead?  Why not ask you God? (!)"

Hey, so below are the pictures of my version of scones from Alice's blog, Sweet Savory Life (
As you can see, I have some work to do.  But they turned out tasting really good!  I'll have to practice my scones and I'm more than willing to try this recipe again!  :)  My next recipe should be something less "bread-y", you know?  Hmm... anyways, I hope the pictures are entertaining and I'm off to camp for a week.  Bye!
Kisses :*,
Miss Rae


My issues: I mistook wax paper for parchment paper (again...)!  And I think I just need practice...
More hugs and kisses!

Sunday, June 5, 2011


Since I've been home from school this summer, I haven't been very talkative with God. Now, writing that out, feels so strange. I don't think anyone wants to sound cliche'- especially with religious stuff.

Pause. My uber good friend just called me. This man she has been talking to/hanging out with asked her father, if he could date her. Father said yes. Friend said yes to him. Her sisters like him. He is good to her and I feel wonderful for her. This beautiful friend of mine is a blessing from Heaven quite literally. We were roommates in college our 2nd semester, kind of involuntary & voluntary. I wasn't a huge fan of what I knew of her and so when the option came to room with her, I couldn't say no because that would be mean, but I wasn't too excited about it. It's funny though- we became what people call "best friends". It's fun and funny and beautiful. Anyways, this friend attracts boys/men. ;) And this one sounds pretty good. Let's be honest, though: all new beaus sounds good in the beginning, though. But...I'm happy for her happiness.

Isaiah, again. I like this book in the Bible. It's big and sturdy and to me, it attracts me because I think this specific book has gold glitter in its words and its name. I don't know, there's something about it. This relates to me saying that I haven't been too talkative with God since I've been home from school. Last night, my sis and I went to the wonderful church we've gone to since we were children. I was reminded during worship that I need to worship God, regardless of how I'm feeling. I related it to working out. Even when I don't feel like it or I'm in a rut with going through the motions of exercising- it's really good to just "go through the motions" anyways because I'll get my zeal again. Instead of literally "sitting it out", by exercising when I don't feel like it will keep me in a healthy shape so I don't have to start all over again when I want to be fit and work out again. Do I make sense?

So I need to praise God when I don't feel like it because it'll keep me from having to start from scratch again in my faith when I get zealous about God again. Also, whoever God is and whether I agree with Him or not, He's God, right? So miss little me, though I may have a big attitude, is nothing to this more-than-I-know God.

Isaiah 8:11-14, "The Lord has said to me in the strongest terms: "Do not think like everyone else does. (Kyla, don't have fear or anxiety like those around you do. And that you so easily take on as well.) Do not be afraid that some plan conceived behind closed doors will be the end of you. (Ky, don't think I'm out to get you. I'm on your side.) Do not fear anything except the Lord Almighty. He alone is the Holy One. If you fear him, you need fear nothing else. He will keep you safe. (Stick with me, Kyla Rae. Keep your eyes on me, fear me if you will fear anything else. I. got. you.)

Thanks God. Thanks Dad- Daddy.

I feel wrong interpreting the Bible on my own. After the above words in the Bible, there is reference to Israel and Judah and Jerusalem so I quickly conclude that I have no right to interpret those words above to be speaking to and comforting me. But the Christian role models around me have done it. And I need something. So I do/ did it.

Like the message my sister and I heard last night by Pastor Bill Hybels, "Who's on your mind?" I want people to be on my mind- like Jesus had people on his too!) mind. So I'll try to untangle myself from acting like a Christian and always feeling loving to lower my eyes and lift up my hands and walk in the path of a little girl in a pink dress and a silk bow, I yell at my Daddy up there, "Daddy, I want to think about people, too!" 

*Btw...I made Alice's ( Blackberry Honey Wheat Cream Scones like I had wanted to!!! I should update with that soon. :) I intend to. (Ah, intentions....)

Kisses :*,
Miss Rae

Saturday, June 4, 2011

No recipe, Just thoughts

"Just thoughts" makes it sound like unimportant daydreams; perhaps like an option. But really what I'm thinking of isn't an option. Or it shouldn't be? I just watched a video by Francis Chan (it's posted below) called, "Erasing Hell." I found it on my friend, Keith's facebook. About 30 seconds into it, I put my mouse over the video to see how long the thing is. I do this a lot- I want to hear things, be aware of things, but I don't want to put time into hearing/learning them. Unless of course what I'm reading is Twilight and I don't want it to end... What I gathered Francis Chan's thesis was that God- God is "a little" more developed, more whole, wise, and accurate than even modern, rational humans are.

Two Biblical passages he used are Isaiah 55:8 and Isaiah 64:8. There is also a song that repeats, "He's nothing like you and I...He's nothing like you and I... ("See the Way" by Misty Edwards, apparently)"

I suppose these lyrics link to Isaiah 55:8, "My thoughts are completely different from yours," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine."
And yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We all are formed by your hand. (Isaiah 64:8)
Really what you should do is watch Chan's video yourself. I'm sad to say that I'm lazy in my faith. I am. I like to believe what is easy and I like to talk about getting a relationship with God rather than taking disciplinary steps working towards it. Yesterday I threw another temper tantrum with God (this may happen more frequently than it should). I indirectly told him (because I didn't want to carve out time to talk to Him) that I'm tired of not being a good Christian. It's too hard and I suck at it. I don't want to be mindful of selling something I am unsatisfied with- which is what I feel like about Christianity.

I want to be a part of the bandwagon so bad that says, "It's not a religion, it's a relationship." Screw that, maybe I want a religion and not a relationship. Religion has rules and practices that maybe I can follow- except the fasting thing. That practice is a discouragement. A relationship with this air-yknow seems- seems like something I haven't been able to do. Only talk about. thing, this all-powerful, but intangible being that I need to respect, embrace, and

What gets me is when I see other people who seem "in the know." Unlike other people, I've been delightfully received and welcomed by Christians which has made me want to be one and be around other Christians. This is why I don't understand when people find Christians uncomfortable to be around when I've found that they are the people who are really good at loving. But back to what I was saying about these Christians "in the know." 

Someone at a youth group once told me that she saw God trying to reach me, trying to love me so much, but I can't see Him, maybe I won't let Him? I just remember her looking at me, teary-eyed, telling me this and I felt happy and also irritated. What?! What am I doing wrong? I feel like I have to do backflips and scary and difficult gymnastic tricks (which is what fasting feels like to me...) in order for me to adequately understand/see who God is and where He is in my life. The worse part is I'm trying to "sell this." Evangelize. Yeah...real convincing.

But I do believe in Jesus as both Lord and a man who walked this Earth- I do. Come to think of it- it's probably because I'm drawn to those beautiful, welcoming Christian people I referenced before. The love, patience, and beauty that radiates from Christians I know keep me a believer in Jesus as my and humanity's Savior.

I've written a lot though I know I can keep going and going. It's annoying though when someone writes a huge thing online- fun-sucking practice (e.g. long e-mails, cards with poems on them...). Conclusion: God, please continue to be patient with me. I'm sorry- more than I know.

Still, I end with kisses :*,
Miss Rae...

Je préfère le verset en français (Google Translator is so neat, thank you, Tommy):

Isaiah 55:8 LSG
Louis Segond 1910 (French)
"Car mes penses ne sont pas vos penses, Et vos voies ne sont pas mes voies, Dit l'ternel." ("See the Way" song by Misty Edwards) (Francis Chan video)

Friday, June 3, 2011

Bacon Apple Pie

I didn't REALLY make Bacon Apple Pie, though that actually sounds like it has potential.  But I wanted to make the Apple Pie recipe from the blog, "Bacon Concentrate" (  Mr. Luz is the gentleman who "blogged" it (funny word :] ) and he wrote in a very entertaining manner, as well as DETAILED.  Due to a slight hiccup with a knife in my thumb and lack of zeal because of a late night...I...I bought frozen pie crust.  I'm sorry.  But it came out really pretty, still!  I haven't tried it yet because my father bought apple pancakes from some restaurant and I can't handle more apple dessert :/  But it looks good and to be honest, as my first apple pie (minus the crust....the most difficult part...), the aesthetic quality was my primary concern.

Therefore I followed Mr. Luz's recipe for the Apple Filling and used "Immaculate" brand pie crusts.  I bought vanilla ice cream from Blue Bunny and- I hope it's good :)  I intent to do a follow-up as well as pictures and a blog about my next anticipated recipe: "Blackberry Honey-Wheat Cream Scones"!  I plan on following the recipe off of "Sweet Savory Life" (  Happy Friday!

Lastly, I did take a lil video of my family's new pups.  I think it'll be kind of fun to have an update on them every once in awhile.... They're kind of really great.  Feel welcome to talk about God!  I'm glad I  crave that.

Kisses :*

Miss Rae

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Alpha Blog

Hello! Kyla typing here. This is my FIRST BLOG, or in more creative terms, my ALPHA blog- get it? Alpha and Omega? Well yeah. Anyways, I really enjoy (I'm trying to spare the words "love" & "hate" because of their dramatic intensity...?) baking blogs. I really enjoy them. And I'm deciding now, I will do my Kyla best to try out my own baking blog until my next birthday. (haha, this August ;] ) By my next birthday and if I have been intentional about updating this blog, I will be able to cross off one of my points on this list I have. My list is the "21 before 21" list.

Eh hem: it includes 21 things I would like to do/accomplish before my 21st birthday. And as this song, "Glorious" by Passion has come on my computer, I recognize that throughout my whole list and through everything I do (btw, my puppy is dreaming now...she is moving around in her sleep, hee hee), I desire to please this grand God. This Grand, Mysterious, Incredulous, Big, & Wise God up there, somewhere, to whom I direct my inquires to. I was talking to a friend today about how I forget why I really am a "Christian," when I feel like I am on ground of jello. Psht. Don't ask me what's right and wrong- I'm trying to stumble my way through here, too! And the neat part for my about this writing post of mine, I AM ALLOWED TO GET "OFF TOPIC!!!" ;)

Moreover, tonight I intended to copy a recipe from "Bacon Concentrate"'s blog. Intended is correct. I need to be cut off at 10 pm from doing kind of anything. I'm just not a pleasant, practical, clear-minded night person. Nope. So I got as far as peeling, slicing, and soaking apples. It was nice that the recipe told me this portion was 1/3 of the way done. However, the crust part of the recipe is pretty ridiculous/greatly intimidating.

It's 11:50pm- what am I doing? I need to go to bed, guys. :) I intend (ah, good intentions...) to finish my first Apple Pie and this blog tomorrow! Dream sweet.

Kisses :*,
Miss Rae