Consistency

I'm thankful to say I went (as I previously stated) to Life Action Camp (http://www.lifeactioncamp.com/) with a friend and her family.  It's a WONDERFUL camp.  I am very blessed to have been able to go.  The speaker, Tom Harmon (http://www.tdharmon.com/), was encouraging, funny, motivating, and all that makes a good speaker.  :)  I feel tonight something he emphasized during that week.

Consistency.  OH COME ON!  I STINK!  I STINK I STINK I STINK!!!!  Confession:  there came a time when I liked this boy.  kind of a lot.  well, as much as I know of- which isn't a whole lot.  mostly lust, if we're just being straight-up.  still, you know, this lust emotion is strongg.  and not always pretty.  how this pertains to be consistent is very simple.  I am not consistent in my worship.

Lord, whatever happens, YOU are to be praised.  Whatever happens, may I praise You.  Regardless of said boy.  I worshiped God through song tonight.  I, along with perhaps a hundred (I'm not quite accurate with numbers) other "young folk" sang songs of praise, of confession, of dying-to-self, of love to God.  And I thought I really meant it- I want to say I still really meant it.  What if I don't?

Because I came home tonight to consider boy again and I internally huffed and puffed that boy was not interested in me and how this isn't fair or more realistically, how I wasn't currently having any fun!  As childish, rude, and awful as I sound, I'm guaranteed to be worse.  And the very One who I pushed away and spit on in a moment's notice is the One I say and try to live my life for.  And this is also the point where I can get very discouraged and say that following Christ or "being a Christian" (why did I put that in quotes?  it unfortunately sounds "little" to me- not cool) is wayyyy too hard and how can I get it right....

No!  Lord, if You'll take me back, I want to come back.    Help, God.  Boy and lust are not good for me AT ALL.

Kisses :*,
Miss Rae